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You may notice changes in your friend’s behaviour. Do they seem withdrawn, sad, distracted, skipping work or get-togethers? Are they posting concerning messages online, or expressing feelings of hopelessness or self-harm?
Trust your instincts
If something feels off, it’s worth trying to start a conversation. Many people worry that telling someone you are concerned about them will be unwelcome, intrusive or make things worse. You’ll soon be able to tell if the person you’re speaking to isn’t comfortable or doesn’t want to have that kind of conversation. If they don’t want to open up, at least you’ll have shown that you care and you are there for them when they do want to talk.
What questions to ask a friend who is feeling low?
“I’ve been worried about you.” “Do you want to talk more about how you’ve been doing?” These express concern. Demonstrate curiosity but don’t demand answers.
How to be a good listener?
Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen. You need not start offering advice or trying to identify with what they’re going through with your own experiences or try to solve their problems. Just listen.
If you’re worried someone is suicidal, it’s OK to ask them directly. Research shows that this helps because it gives them permission to tell you how they feel and shows that they are not a burden.
Being a good friend requires care, compassion and time. You’re not alone in this.